


Trust Him, Before He Loses Himself

by Starlight1395



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: 5+1, Addiction recovery, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Overdosing, Recovery, bulimic actions, lowkey radiodust, more tags to be added at reader's suggestion, references to past abuse/trauma, self-harm actions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26262595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlight1395/pseuds/Starlight1395
Summary: The staff of Hazbin Hotel seemed to come across Angel Dust in various situations that made them... worry about him. He was a recovering drug addict, so of course they were aware of the things he took within the walls of the hotel - but was it their fault for handling it the way they did?AKA Five times they mistook what Angel was doing and the one time they comforted him.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 256





	Trust Him, Before He Loses Himself

Charlie was humming to herself as she made her rounds, checking in on the patrons of the hotel and chatting with them a little. It was something she tried to do everyday, so she could get a read on the vibes of the demons under her care and so they knew she genuinely cared about their well being. She found they began to open up to her a little after a week or so of her quick check-ins, and it made her so happy.

She had finished her last check-in for the evening and was making her way downstairs when a flash of white caught her eye.

Angel walked into the parlor, just off of the lobby where Husk’s bar was now located. Al had expanded the hotel with a snap of his fingers, adding the extra room for guests to relax and drink without being in direct view of the front door. Charlie, always up to a nice chat with her first ever patron, followed quickly behind him.

Her smile faded a little when she took in his appearance. His normally shining fur was dim and flat, and she could see dark bruises staining his skin under where the fur was thin from being ripped out. He had a small bag on his shoulder that dangled down by his hip as he walked and his right eye was slightly swollen and he didn’t make a single comment, lewd or otherwise, when Husk handed him a bag of ice to hold against his face. They were talking, but she couldn’t hear what they were saying.

Concern bubbled up in her chest more when Angel flinched as Husk tried to brush his bangs away from his face to better place the icepack. She took a step forward to say something when she saw Angel pulling something out of his bag - her blood ran cold.

Angel opened the white bottle and shook several pills onto an open palm. He accepted a glass of water from Husk and threw the pills back in a single go.

Charlie rushed forward and slapped the bottle from his hand, her eyes wide in shock and betrayal.

“Angel! How could you?” Her throat stung. “You were doing so well! How could you bring drugs into the hotel? I trusted you to follow the rules and set a good example for the others!”

“Princess, look-” Husk tried to intercept but was cut off.

“And you! Why are you helping him?” She turned her attention to the cat demon, who leaned away slightly, his ears pressing down on his head. “If he needs help staying sober, you shouldn’t be encouraging him!”

“Dammit Charlie!” Angel shouted, making the woman fall silent. He stood slowly, his limbs looking far too heavy. He leaned down and tipped the spilled pills back in before securing the cap and throwing it at Charlie with a little more force than probably necessary. She only barely caught it before it bounced away. “They’re fuckin’ painkillas! I got th’ shit beat outta me today at the studios and I’m in fuckin’ pain! Fuck! Do ya really not trust me that fuckin’ much?”

“Angel...” Charlie felt shame rush through her, staining her cheeks even redder.

“Ya really thought I was poppin’ shit in the parlor?” Angel scowled, his face twisting in pain and anger. “Fuck Toots, don’t let the othas know you think so little of us lowly demons...”

“Wait, I’m sorry,” Charlie chased after the spider, who had started to leave the parlor, grabbing onto the strap of his bag. “I didn’t mean to jump to conclusions! I just want to see you succeed and... well...”

“I’m just so untrustworthy, ain’t I?” Angel spat.

“I do trust you!” Her sight blurred a little. She hadn’t meant to make things so bad, she just wanted to make sure Angel wasn’t going to relapse again!

“Whateva, I’m going ta my room,” He huffed, the anger in his voice evaporating in an instant. “I’m gonna wait ‘till the painkillas kick in then I’m gonna take a nap. Don’t botha me, aight?”

“Alright... sorry again Angel...” She trailed off as he walked away, leaving just the princess and Husk alone in the parlor. She blinked in surprise as she watched Alastor slip up the stairs after Angel, his shoes silent on the rugs. Husk pulled her attention away.

“You really should have more faith in the kid,” Husk said, voice low and apathetic. He went back to his bar, Angel’s half-full cup in hand. “He really is trying, but he ain’t gonna get far if you don’t give him some trust.”

“I feel awful,” She wrapped her arms around her torso. “I was just so scared...”

“How do you think he feels?” Husk asked before walking through the curtain that separated the bar from the storage room in the back, leaving Charlie alone. She looked at the pill bottle in her hand and confirmed that they were, indeed, simple painkillers - low dosage ones too. Even she would use something stronger when her headaches hit.

She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. This was going to take a while to fix, especially now that Angel was going to be on edge around her. Maybe she could make him something to eat to get him to forgive her.

“I want Vaggie...” She whined as she left the parlor, looking for her girlfriend.

* * *

Vaggie carried in the bags of groceries, barely able to see over the stack of things in her arms. While she was definitely strong enough to carry it all, it was not the most comfortable pile to struggle with - especially when she couldn’t really see anything. All she had to do was to stumble into the kitchen and throw the bags on the counters, then she could put everything away and go to find Charlie.

They took turns to get groceries, on a rotating list of whose turn it was. She had been wary when Charlie first suggested it, not expecting many of the staff to... pull their weight properly, but was pleasantly surprised to see Angel, Husk and Alastor taking their errands just as serious as she, Niffty and Charlie did - even if they snuck in things here and there.

She made her way into the kitchen and dropped her bags onto the counter top, grunting a little as she had to stand on her toes to make sure she didn’t drop anything. Thankfully she managed to shove all of the bags into a secure position, because seconds later Angel loudly and abruptly announced himself entering the kitchen. If Vaggie had still been holding something, she absolutely would have dropped it.

“Was that necessary?” She snapped, placed a hand over her heart.

“Not my fault you weren’t payin’ attention.” He shrugged casually, walking over to the cabinets and using his height to reach for something on the topmost shelf.

Vaggie rolled her eyes as she began pulling things out of the bags and lining them up on the counter to be put away, not paying attention to whatever Angel was doing.

It was the sound of pills rattling in a bottle that drew her attention. She whipped her head around, eyes wide in anger. Charlie had told her about what happened with the painkillers, and how bad she felt about judging Angel, but it was clear he wasn’t taking painkillers now. The bottle was larger, and the pills in his palm were large and colorful.

“Hey! Asshole!” She shouted, summoning a spear. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Uh, ‘scuse me?” Angel scoffed, raising his eyebrow.

“What are you taking?” She pushed, pointing the spear at him. Angel’s raised eyebrow turned to a sneer. Without answering, he threw the pills back and dried swallowed before recapping the bottle and slamming it on the counter.

“I dunno ‘bout you, but I’m trynna take care a my assets,” He hissed, eyes narrowing at the shorter woman. “Just cuz you treat your body like shit don’t mean I gotta.”

“The fuck does that mean?” She growled.

“They’re fuckin’ multi vitamins!” Angel threw his arms in the air in frustration. “I can’t do shit ‘round here without you guys breathin’ down my fuckin’ neck! I try ta do what ya want a me, but it ain’t neva enough.”

“Oh really?” Vaggie scoffed and took the bottle, scanning the label carefully. The bottle seemed legit, but that didn’t guarantee that the pills inside matched. She waved away her spear and opened it, dumping a few of the pills onto her palm.

They... looked like normal vitamins. She frowned as she put the bottle down so she could bring one of the pills closer to her face. She crushed it slightly, bringing it up to her nose just enough to tell what sort of drug it was without getting drugged herself. To her surprise, there was nothing off about the pills.

“Huh, you’re telling the truth.” She blinked, too shocked to notice Angel’s face at first.

“No fuckin’ shit...” Angel snapped. He paused what he was doing, and Vaggie realized he had been putting the groceries away for her without her needing to ask him to. He slammed the milk down on the counter and turned on his heel, only to run directly into Alastor, who had been entering the kitchen.

“I heard a commotion- Angel? Are you alright?” His tone switched from its usual radio feedback to something softer, something more genuine.

“I’m fuckin’ FINE-” He tried to push past the shorter demon, only to freeze when a hand was placed on his arm.

“You’re crying, my dear...” Alastor’s voice dropped even lower, to the point where Vaggie couldn’t hear what they were whispering to each other. A sour feeling made her stomach hurt when she saw Angel reach up to wipe his cheek.

She hadn’t meant to upset him THAT badly. She was just being cautious - after all,

Angel was the one that had smuggled every drug under the pentagram into the hotel at some point or another, even going as far as to disguise the PCP dust as a stomach settling tablet. They managed to catch him most of the time, but they instantly knew when they missed something because he would either stumble down high as a kite or shuffle around as he’s coming down from whatever he took.

Thinking harder, Vaggie realized they hadn’t found anything on Angel in a while.

No contraband, no hidden baggies in his room, not even showing signs of doing drugs in the hotel at all. Sometimes he would come home from the studios and would be acting off, but Alastor would put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from yelling at the spider.

He never explained why he kept letting Angel get away with doing drugs at work, but there was something about the tightness of his smile and the way his eyes seemed to turn downwards as they watched Angel stumble up to his room that made her hold her tongue.

“Why don’t we go find some pesky demons to slaughter?” Alastor asked, his voice suddenly picking up in volume. “I know a good fight does you wonders, and I’ve found myself itching for some adventure!”

“Sounds fun Smiles,” Angel sniffled softly. “Lead th’ way.”

“Wait!” Vaggie called out. She knew Charlie wouldn’t be happy if the two left and went on a killing spree and the last thing she wanted to do was make Charlie upset - she was already stressed as it was, and as her girlfriend it was Vaggie’s job to try to make things a little easier for her! Not harder!

“Now, now Miss Vagatha,” Alastor’s grin widened. “I don’t see anything wrong with a little healthy exercise.”

“Killing people isn’t-”

“This is Hell!” Alastor threw his arms open dramatically. “Death is merely a suggestion here! Besides, us doing this now makes the extermination less bloody.”

Vaggie let her lip curl in frustration because she knew he was right. She knew they would go slaughter dozens of people and that most of them - if they were strong enough - would come back. She knew the more demons that were killed through the year made the extermination less intense - not that they were anything but horrifying, but the Angels had a quota and preferred not to stay in Hell longer than they needed to, so they usually left as soon as they eviscerated their preferred number of sinners.

“Fine,” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Don’t track blood onto the carpets and keep the violence out of sight of the hotel.”

“Of course!” Alastor trilled, his eyes sparkling. Angel smiled faintly, looking at the bright expression on the deer’s face. Vaggie wondered when they had gotten so close. “Come, mon cher! Why don’t you put on something worthy of a blood bath and we can begin!”

The two left the kitchen in the same flurry they had entered, leaving Vaggie alone once again. She sighed and finished putting the groceries away, a guilty knot in her stomach. If Angel really was trying to go clean...

“Damnit...” She huffed. She was going to have to readjust her views on a lot of things.

* * *

“Whatcha got there?” Niffty asked, her eye wide. Angel glanced at her, scowling a little.

“Why? Gonna snitch on me?” He hid whatever it was he was holding from the smaller demon. Niffty blinked and frowned a little.

“Is it something I should snitch on you for?” She tilted her head to the side, trying to look around Angel’s back. “Boss told me to watch out for you.”

“Well first of all tell Al that I don’t need no babysitta,” Angel scoffed, his face clouding over. “Secondly, it don’t matta what I ‘ave cuz it’s nunya business.”

“So you ARE hiding something,” Niffty put her hands on her hips. She looked up at him, and despite the massive height difference, Angel felt like she was scolding him. “Lemme see.”

“No.” Angel snarled, his face twisting. He had enough pent up frustration that he didn’t need Niffty on his case on top of it all.

Val had been more than obnoxious the past week, calling Angel in more and making him work longer hours. He said something about a new kind of porn from the living world that someone who recently fell told him about - said he wanted to get a jump on the trend before it’s replaced.

So Angel’s been tied up and spit on and thrown around more than usual. He’s been stepped on and stretched and degraded. He’s been humiliated and burned and reduced to tears, and all he wanted to do on his day off was eat the fucking candy Cherri bought him to cheer him up but apparently he couldn’t even do THAT.

“If you don’t tell me, I’m gonna have to tell Charlie and she’s gonna be upset.” Niffty folded her arms, her feather duster nearly the size of her head.

Angel loved Niffty, don’t get him wrong. She was a doll wand had more energy than there were demons in Hell. She was always the first to help him design new outfits, her small hands able to thread needles and do the intricate embroidery that he wasn’t able to. She loved to come to him with the new chapter of her book, wanting his opinions and edits. She helped him cook when he found he couldn’t sleep and was good at keeping secrets.

Except for this, it seems.

“Damnit Niffts can’t you just let me have this?” He asked, eyes beginning to sting. He refused to cry, but he’s just had such a long week. He was tired, and sore, and being confronted AGAIN was the last thing he needed.

“Angel...” She said one last time, the look on her face warning the spider that she wasn’t afraid to go to Charlie about this.

“Fine,” He spat out, venom dripping from his words. He threw the bag of candies at her, letting them fall all over the carpets. Her face immediately scrunched, her instincts to be mad about the mess taking over for a moment. “There. Ya got whatcha wanted, now I’m goin’ ta my room. Don’t fuckin’ botha me.”

Angel muttered something as he pushed past her, purposely grinding one of the colorful candies into the carpeting with the heel of his boot. Niffty bent down and grabbed the open bag where one of the candies managed to stay. Since it hadn’t touched the carpeting, she examined it. It certainly wasn’t a candy from when she was alive, but it had a colorful coating and a white S stamped on one side.

Curious, she tossed it into her mouth.

“Oh wow!” Her eye sparkled. Whatever it was, it was delicious! Unfortunately, the rest were scattered across the hallway, with one ground into the rug. She frowned, knowing it was going to be a bother to pry the sticky candy from the fibers before anyone stepped in it.

Angel came out of his bathroom, the steam escaping into his bedroom and coating the ceiling with a sweet smelling mist. He had done what he always does when he gets frustrated - took a scalding hot bath. Before coming to the hotel, his go to for stress relief was getting so fucked up he couldn’t remember his name and letting someone fuck him until he couldn’t think of anything else, even if he wanted to. Now, however, his list of coping mechanisms had shrunk considerably.

Wrapping the towel around his damp fur, Angel sat at his vanity and began fluffing himself with his hairdryer. Fat Nuggets came over and looked up at him with wide, black eyes, their spots glowing.

“You’re such a good baby,” Angel smiled softly as he pulled Nuggets up onto his lap. He continued to dry his fur with one set of hands while the second set pet the pig, who happily leaned into the touches. “Daddy doesn't know what ‘e’d do withoutcha...”

Just as he turned the hair dryer off, a knock came from his door. Angel scowled, not in any sort of mood to entertain guests - especially if it was Charlie, who was due to begin her daily rounds any time now - but he begrudgingly made his way to the door anyway.

“Whaddya want?” He grumbled, opening it a crack and sticking his head out, using his long legs to stop Fat Nuggets from trying to squeeze out into the hallway.

There was no one there, much to Angel’s surprise. He looked around, but there wasn’t a single soul to be seen. A flash of color caught his eye, urging him to look directly down.

At his feet was a basket, with a bottle of wine, a bag of sweets and a bouquet of flowers all resting on what looked like a pink blanket. Angel picked it up, more confused than ever. Who would leave a gift basket at his door?

The fans that were persistent enough to give him things were always deferred to Husk, who kept the packages in a large box in the back of the storage room for whenever Angel managed to come collect them - he had been given full permission by Angel to toss anything that seemed shady or gross. Angel didn’t really want the gifts to begin with, but on occasion he would get a letter saying how he helped someone figure out their sexuality, or how his films (no matter how raunchy) gave them a sense of comfort - or rather Angel himself gave them a sense of familiarity. Angel liked those letters, because it made him feel like he wasn’t wasting his afterlife doing something fruitless.

In the basket was a small note. It didn’t say anything, but had a heart with an eye in the center. Angel grinned, knowing Niffty’s signature anywhere. Bringing the basket inside, he closed his door and sat back down at his vanity.

“Pretty...” He whispered as he pulled the flowers out first. Setting those aside he grabbed the wine, which was still chilled. It was peach flavored and he knew it was bubbly - his favorite kind of wine. His grin widened when he saw the candies were the same kind that he had thrown on the floor. He would definitely have to apologize to the smaller demon for making a mess...

The last thing in the basket was not a blanket, but rather a sweatshirt. He could already tell it was going to be huge on him, which was exactly how he liked it. It even had four arm holes, which wasn’t necessarily the easiest thing to find. He brought it up to his face, adoring how soft the fabric was against his fur.

He froze. The sweatshirt didn’t smell like a store, nor did it have the slightly acidic smell that followed Niffty around due to all her cleaning supplies. Instead it was spiced, like cinnamon and something that made his nose tickle. It was a warmer smell, one that reminded him of a certain deer demon-

Angel’s smile softened even more. Alastor must have gotten it and allowed Niffty to give it to Angel. It wouldn’t have been the first time he had done it, and the fact that the big scary Radio Demon couldn’t just give Angel a gift made the spider giggle a little.

He slipped the sweatshirt on, quickly ripping the tag off and throwing it away before tugging on his comfy panties and sleep shorts. Only after he was decent did he go over to the old fashioned radio that had appeared in each room shortly after Alastor arrived at the hotel. He turned the frequency to a specific channel.

“Hey Al,” He said to the air. He could hear the radio feedback, which meant Alastor was listening. “I dunno if you're busy right now, but I got some fruit wine. Wanted ta see if you’d want ta have some with me. I figured... it’ll be nice ta have some company for a bit.”

The radio feedback popped before turning itself off. Angel, knowing that Al would be there momentarily if he were to come at all, grabbed two of the clean wine glasses he keeps in his room - they were one of the few gifts he actually kept from a fan, and were the prettiest crystal he had ever seen. Sitting on his bed, he threw some music on and filled the glasses halfway. The peachy toned wine bubbled happily in the flutes.

Movement from the corner of Angel’s eye caught his attention. He grinned and held one of the glasses out for Alastor, who had just walked in through his shadow. Al took it with a smile and sat on the bed, leaving a gap of no more than three feet between them.

* * *

Husk was, admittedly, not as attentive as he should be. At least, not towards the things that other people thought mattered. He rarely paid attention to the bar, or how much alcohol he poured into a drink. He forgot to eat, only remembering when someone put a plate in front of his face. He almost never knew what day of the week it was, and had trouble keeping up with scheduled appointments.

This being said, Husk was not blind. He DID notice things that no one else thought to even glance at. He noticed what time Alastor came into the parlor - seven in the evening, on the dot - and exactly what he ordered. He noticed how Charlie tugged on her hair when she got anxious, or how Vaggie taps a little melody into her thigh when she isn’t paying attention. He noticed how Angel would order something fruity if he was having a good day, or something strong when it was a bad day. How Angel would only flirt when he felt he needed an out in a conversation. How Angel was faking his smiles more and more.

He noticed a lot, so he wasn’t all that surprised when he noticed Angel mixing white powder into his glass of lemonade. Charlie, who had been excited to make the beverage all on her own with the lemons her girlfriend had bought earlier that week, was chatting happily with one of the patrons. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the drink - except Angel, who looked as though his entire body was drooping a little.

Husk watched him mix the powder in with his straw, waiting for it to dissolve completely before taking a sip. His face didn’t change at all, which cued Husk to believe that maybe it wasn’t what he initially believed.

“Don’t let the Princess see you doing whatever the fuck you’re doing.” Husk said, moving to wipe down the bar in front of Angel. The spider jumped, his eyes wide and guilty.

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout.” Angel said, his shoulders hunching a little.

“Look, I’m no snitch but if you’re feelin’ like you gotta do this shit again you don’t have to do it on your own. If Charlie ever heard me sayin’ this she’d have my fuckin’ head, but if you ever need to do whatever and don’t wanna be alone, come find me, okay? I’d rather you shoot up or snort shit where I can make sure you’re alright than have you do it in secret and get hurt.”

“Husk...” Angel breathed, his eyes suspiciously damp. He let out a wet chuckle and wiped his cheeks, where traitorous tears had started to soak in. “I ‘ppreciate it, but I swear it ain’t what ya think...”

“I’m not gonna make you spill your guts kid,” Husk shook his head. “Just... know you ain’t alone.”

“It’s for my anxiety,” He sighed, pulling a small container out of his pocket and sliding it towards the cat. “Smiles saw it ‘n thought it might help me a lil. Ya just mix it in with whateva you’re drinkin’ ‘n it’s supposed ta keep ya from losing ya shit.”

“Huh, didn’t know this was a thing,” Husk raised an eyebrow as he read the label.

“Does it work?”

“I dunno, this is th’ first time I’m tryin’ it,” He took another sip of his drink. “It don’t taste like anythin’ which is good cuz if it was gross I’d just chuck it.”

“Do you, uh, get anxious a lot?” Husk asked awkwardly. Out of all the things he’s noticed about his new family, Angel acting more or less anxious than usual wasn’t one of them.

“I’m always anxious now-a-days,” Angel scoffed easily. “Just didn’t show it cuz I was zooted outta my mind most a th’ time...”

“Were you like this when you were alive too?”

“Why do ya think I go inta drugs in th’ first place?”

“Fair enough.” Husk shrugged and slid the container back to Angel, who slipped it into his pocket once again.

“You ain’t gonna get on my case ‘bout takin’ shit?” Angel broke the silence between them. Husk glanced at the other demon for a moment before shaking his head.

“Your business is your own,” he said, as if it explained everything. Only after seeing Angel’s confused look did he continue. “Look, I know what addiction is like - fuck, I give you all the credit in Hell for trying to do something about it. Fuck knows I would never be able to do what you’re trying to do...”

“Husky...” Angel’s eyebrows turned up in concern.

“I used to get black out drunk every single day,” Husk sighed, rubbing some stray booze off the lip of his bottle. “Then I died and kept doing more of the same... then Al found me. We made a contract and he... between him and Niffty, I didn’t have to worry about hurting myself or someone around me or making a fucking mess whenever I got too fucked up. I never had people to- to care about me before, and I have a feeling you’re pretty much the same.”

“Mm,” Angel hummed. “Yeah, sounds about right.”

“One more thing, and I’ll stop interrogating you,” Husk continued to wipe down the perfectly clean bar. Angel hummed again, acknowledging Husk’s request. “I won’t say anything to the Princess, but I just... for my own peace of mind, I wanted to ask if you get fucked up at your work on purpose.”

“Oh...” Angel felt like he had been punched in the stomach. It took him a moment to realize Husk was still waiting for an answer. “Uh, not really. Neva cared that Val drugged me before, cuz I had no reason ta care - free drugs were free drugs, and bein’ drugged made work more fun, and th’ more fun I ‘ad, th’ more money Val made. Now... now it ain’t as fun. I always feel guilty cuz I know I’m disappointin’ th’ Princess, but Val don’t really give me much of a choice when it comes ta gettin’ fucked - up ‘n by others.”

“Fuck kid...” Husk looked at the spider with wide, horrified eyes. It was one thing to do drugs to escape your own personal punishment - every single soul in Hell had their vices to make their eternal afterlife as tolerable as possible - but not having a choice? Being forced to get high out of your mind? Having any control over yourself stolen with no way to fight back?

“Thanks for listenin’ Husky,” Angel offered him a small smile - one softer and more genuine than the toothy grins everyone else got. “I don’t get ta unload like that a whole lot. Most people just tell me ta shut th’ fuck up afta a while.”

“That’s fuckin’ stupid,” Husk growled, his wings twitching in irritation - not at Angel, but at how Angel has been treated. “You can come to me whenever. To talk, or to have company, or to... ya know, feel safe if you need to. Promise you’ll find me if you need to.”

“Thanks, and I promise.” Angel looked so soft as he sipped his lemonade. Husk wondered, just for a moment, what the spider could have done if he hadn’t been scooped up by Valentino so quickly - what kind of name he could have made for himself without being toted around like a name-brand purse by Val and his clients.

Husk was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t notice someone joining them at the bar until they spoke.

“Ah, mon ange, I see you are using your gift,” Alastor said, his voice chipper but lacking its usual volume. “What’s your review?”

“Hm, not bad,” Angel smiled at Al in a way that Husk hadn’t ever seen on the spider's face before. “Don’t taste bad ‘n I’m feein’ pretty okay. We’ll see how good it works soon enough.”

“I’m glad you’re giving it a try,” Alastor said, and if Husk had blinked he absolutely would have missed how the Radio Demon had placed a hand on Angel’s upper arm for just a moment before pulling away. “I know you were hesitant.”

“Yeah, well it’s betta than th’ alternative.” Angel muttered, looking down at his glass.

“Whatever do you mean, darling?” Alastor’s ears twitched a little.

“Nothin, don’t worry ‘bout it babe.” He chuckled, waving Alastor’s concern off easily. He and Alastor continued to talk, but Husk’s brain was short-circuiting a little. Since when were those two so close? Darling? Babe? What had Husk missed?

He looked at his booze bottle, still half filled, and set it aside.

Maybe he really had been drinking too much.

* * *

Alastor was concerned. Angel was being quieter than usual and it didn’t sit right with, well... anyone. He had walked in on Vaggie making a comment to Charlie about how subdued the spider had been acting recently. Niffty had chimed in, saying she had noticed the same thing about their first patron.

It had gotten Alastor thinking. When had Angel started to act differently? When had he changed? He found he couldn’t pinpoint an exact date, but he thought back to the last time he remembered Angel acting loud and exuberant and realized it had been almost a month. Almost four weeks since Angel had really acted like himself.

How had he not realized this? As he found himself getting closer to Angel, Alastor had been allowed to see sides of the other demon that no one else knew. He was given the privilege to see Angel without his makeup, in his comfy pajamas and stuffed animal tucked snuggly in his arms. He was allowed to see Angel dance in the kitchen at two in the morning as he made himself an after work snack. He was able to bandage Angel up when he stumbled home, bloody and shaking - it had taken Angel months to trust the other demon enough to allow him to help at all.

Now Angel went directly to Alastor whenever he was hurt. He was the only one who knew what sort of life Angel had before dying, and how that life still affected him over seven decades later.

And yet he somehow missed this?

Alastor made his way up to Angel’s room, wondering if the spider had even come downstairs at all that day. Breakfast was cleaned up a short while ago and as far as he knew no one had seen Angel out and about.

“Angel? Dear? Are you awake?” He knocked on the closed door, listening carefully for any sort of answer. The only thing he heard was Fat Nuggets scratching at the door. Alastor frowned - Angel was usually so good with taking care of the pig, but it seemed as though Nuggets was trying to get out for some reason. “I’m coming in, alright darling?”

Still no response. Alastor pushed the door open, something sour growing in his stomach as he closed it behind him. Fat Nuggets chuffed at his ankles, their spots glowing brighter. He glanced at their bowl and saw it was empty.

“Angel, are you awake?” He tried again, walking over to the lump in the bed. Angel shifted from under the covers, his head just barely poking out. Alastor felt his heart stop for a moment at the look on Angel’s face.

He was staring blankly at the wall, his eyes devoid of any life and half lidded. He didn’t seem to notice that Alastor was standing in front of him, barely even flinching as the other demon ran his claws through his greasy bangs.

“Oh mon amore,” His voice cracked. “Are you hurt?”

Angel didn’t make a sound. He blinked slowly, as if that in itself was too much effort. He tried to duck his head back under the covers but was stopped by a hand on his cheek.

“Why don’t we sit up, my dear?” Alastor prompted gently. When Angel didn’t say no, he carefully helped the spider prop himself up, making sure to put a pillow behind his back. Angel blinked again, his eyes falling on his hands which were lying lifelessly in his lap. Alastor watched helplessly, not having the faintest idea on what Angel needed. “I’m going to feed Nuggets, then we can take a bath, alright?”

Angel nodded - the motion so small that Alastor almost missed it entirely. He hesitated a moment, convincing himself that Angel wasn’t going to topple over the moment he looked away before standing. Fat Nuggets followed him over to their bowl, hopping excitedly. It only took a few moments to feed them, but in that time Alastor managed to think of a thousand different things that might be wrong with Angel, each one more upsetting than the last.

He went back to the bed and sat down, letting Angel fall limply against his chest.

He tensed for a moment before forcing himself to relax. This was Angel - he wasn’t going to do anything to Alastor. Not after that long, admittedly awkward conversation they had shared months prior about sexualities and preferences and deep rooted fears stemming from trauma left over from their lives.

“How are you feeling dear?” He asked softly, hoping for some sort of reaction. To his delight, Angel blinked and looked at him - actually looked at him - and shrugged faintly. It wasn’t the best answer, but it was an answer and that was what Alastor cared about. “That’s alright. Do you wish to wash up?”

“Sure...” Angel’s voice was rough from disuse. He swung his legs over the bed only to stop. Alastor followed where Angel’s eyes went and saw a small orange bottle on the bedside table. The sour feeling in his stomach grew heavier.

Was Angel reacting poorly to some sort of drug? How would he even have gotten drugs into the hotel? Why did Angel feel as though he couldn’t come to Alastor with this? Had Alastor failed the other in some way?

After everything they had done for him, Angel still felt he couldn’t come to them?

“Angel, love, what did you take?” He tried to keep his voice level but even then it trembled slightly. Angel closed his eyes tightly and shook his head, a faint whimper faintly filling the room. Alastor’s frown deepened. “Love, please just say something.”

“Not drugs...” He muttered, sounding exhausted.

“If not drugs, then what?” He didn’t mean to sound frustrated, but by the way Angel curled in on himself he hadn’t done a good job of it.

“Supposed ta help...” Angel whimpered. “Makin’ it worse.”

“What was supposed to help?” Alastor was glad Angel was talking, even if he was getting fragments of sentences rather than full answers. Angel just shook his head before bursting into tears. Alastor’s ears pressed tightly against his head, his grin widened in shock and distress. Angel buried his face into his pillow, soaking it with heart wrenching cries. Alastor felt completely helpless as he rubbed Angel’s back, not having a single clue what could help the spider.

After what felt like hours - though it was probably closer to twenty minutes, seeing how someone would have definitely come to check on them if it really had been hours - Angel began to calm. His breathing was wet and shallow, and his eyes were puffy, but he seemed more aware of where he was.

“Do you want some water?” Alastor asked, already handing Angel the water bottle that was perpetually placed on his side table.

“Need to...” Angel took the bottle before reaching over to the little orange bottle.

He easily popped the lid off and took two minuscule green pills. Alastor fought back the urge to smack it out of his hand.

“Angel, what are those pills?” He hadn’t felt this kind of fear... ever, really. Even when he was alive he rarely felt fear at all, unless it involved his father. In death, the only fear he felt was the fear of others. Now, however he was scared FOR

Angel, which frightened him to no end because it meant he allowed Angel through his walls - he allowed himself to care for the taller demon, which was completely out of character for him.

Husk and Niffty might argue, but Alastor felt it wasn’t normal for him to be soft.

“It’s... ‘nother one a th’ Princess’ experiments,” He sighed, sounding exhausted but finally able to form full sentences. “She wanted ta see if... this shit would work on demons like me... don’t know wh-why it’s doin’ this...”

Angel trailed off, looking even more exhausted than before. Alastor picked up the bottle and looked at the label. The name of the medication was something he had never heard of, but that wasn’t surprising. What was surprising was seeing Angel’s name printed clearly on the side, which meant it really was prescription.

“What are they supposed to do, dear?”

“Charlie said it’s supposed ta ‘elp with depression... ‘n anxiety...” He sighed heavily.

“She prescribed you an antidepressant as... an experiment? To see if demons reacted to them the same way humans do?” Alastor double checked. Angel simply nodded and rage began to boil in the deer’s stomach. “I’ll draw you a bath, alright?”

“Okay...” Angel closed his eyes and buried his face in his pillow again. Alastor placed the bottle back on the table and went to the bathroom to do just that. As he waited for the tub to fill, he began to compose what he was going to say to Charlie.

If he couldn’t rip into her physically, he was definitely going to rip into her verbally. He was supposed to be the inhumane one, and yet he would never use another person to experiment with something like that. He hunted his prey, lured them in and gave them a false sense of security and struck when they least expected it, but he never drugged them. He never used them as guinea pigs, and he would never leave them to handle the side effects on their own. He was heartless, but he wasn’t that much of a monster.

Though it seemed Charlie was.

Alastor scowled. No, Charlie wasn’t cruel. Knowing Angel, it probably didn’t even cross his mind to tell the Princess about this. He probably just assumed he was simply hitting a low patch and that it would pass eventually. Alastor bit the inside of his cheek as he pieced it together. No wonder Angel had been acting so strangely recently. He was experiencing awful side effects for a drug that wasn’t supposed to be consumed by their kind.

He would have to have a long talk with Charlie about this, and soon.

“It’s ready for you, mon cher,” Alastor went back to the bedroom, where Angel hadn’t moved a single muscle. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Angel didn’t fight as Alastor helped him to his feet and into the bathroom, nor did he speak as he stripped himself with clumsy motions - he didn’t make any comments, lewd or otherwise. It wasn’t until he was submerged up to his shoulders that Angel seemed to wake up from his stupor.

“Al?”

“Yes, my dear?”

“Thanks...” He looked at the bubbles swirling in the hot water, the steam already fogging the mirror up.

“No need for any of that,” Alastor waved him off gently. “I’m simply grateful to see you more aware of yourself.”

“Sorry... I dunno what ‘appened,” He slid down a little more, so his chin was resting on the surface of the bath. “It’s neva been this bad before.”

“Have you told Charlotte about your side effects?” Al hung his jacket on the hook on the back of the door before rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. Angel watched as the other demon knelt next to the tub and grabbed the bottle of shampoo.

“Nah... I just thought- thought that it would go away,” Angel tilted his head back at Alastor’s silent request, allowing the other to begin gently lathering the shampoo in his fur. “I’ve been up ‘n down and side ta side so I didn’t think it was anythin’ special.”

“Why did she give you those pills?”

“I guess she thought if they’d work on me, they could ‘elp th’ othas,” Angel shrugged a little, his thin shoulders barely making a ripple in the water. “And since I’m already th’ hotel’s experiment I figured it couldn’t ‘urt ta offa myself as a testa.”

“You are not a science experiment Angel,” Alastor said, a little firmer than he intended it to be. “You’re going to inform her of this, correct?”

“I suppose...”

“Would you like for me to be there with you when you do?” Alastor knew how Angel tended to back down when he felt threatened or cornered.

“Maybe,” Angel looked up at Alastor, his face softening into a grateful smile.

“Thanks fa helpin’ me... I know how ya are with touchin’. This can’t be comfortable for ya.”

“I allow certain people in my life within the five foot radius,” He said simply. Of course he meant only Husk, Nifty, Rosie and now Angel, but he wasn’t going to say that outloud. “Besides, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing I left you to fester all on your own.”

“Why do ya care so much?” Angel found himself asking. He had been wondering it for a while now - ever since Alastor began showing Angel the sort of affection no one expected from the Radio Demon - but never had the guts to vocalize it before.

Alastor took a moment to think as he rinsed the bubbles from Angel’s fur.

“I’m not sure of the answer to that myself,” He said softly. “I find it... hard to connect to others - to relate to them enough to form relationships of any sort, as you are well aware of, but for some reason...”

He trailed off. Angel knew he was referring to what they had talked about all those months ago, and knew not to push it.

“I can finish washin’ myself,” Angel’s voice gained a little more life. “I’ll, uh, come find ya downstairs when I’m done?”

“I’ll stay with your child while you bathe,” Alastor saw the immediate relief in

Angel’s face, even though he was sure the spider didn’t even realize he had given it away. He knew the other wouldn’t want to be alone for long. “Take your time, dear. There’s no rush, and you can call out to me if you need anything.”

“Mm, will do,” Angel rested his cheek on the edge of the tub and smiled up at Alastor, who was drying his hands to roll his sleeves back down. “Thanks again.”

“How many times must I remind you,” Alastor shook his head but kept a playful smile on his lips. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“Yeah, well I wanted ta.” Angel stuck his tongue out a little, and the tight fear that had been constricting Alastor’s throat began to subside. Angel was beginning to act more like himself again, which meant there was hope for him to recover from this.

Alastor left the bathroom door open a crack as he went to sit on the bed again. Fat Nuggets came right up to him, sniffing his ankles to ask to be held. Alastor complied, picking the pig up and letting them snuggle their face into the crook of his elbow.

* * *

  
Angel’s vision was starting to go black around the edges. His breathing was getting faster and faster as he tugged roughly on his bangs. He felt like he was dying, and he didn’t understand why.

Charlie had immediately taken him off his medication when he told her about the awful reaction he was having to it, and he had spent the last two weeks dealing with the shakes and the headaches and the insomnia. He should be getting better, but he felt like he was suffocating.

He dug his claws into his arms, the shooting pain enough to clear his mind just long enough to take a deep breath. He was underwater, his head swimming and thick. Where was he? Why did he feel this way?

A long suppressed thought snuck its way into his mind.

Angel glanced at his closet, in particular towards the grey cardigan he hadn’t touched in months. He knew he shouldn’t - he knew he would be disappointing everybody. He knew he would be erasing all the progress he had made. He knew he would be failing everyone who had put their faith into him.

But he needed it. The itch under his skin was sated by the rips in his skin for only a moment before demanding more.

Silently Angel made his way to his closet. Using one claw, he ripped the seams of the hidden pocket he himself had added using his own silk. The false pocket backing fell away to reveal a small baggie. His hands shook as he pulled it out, the menagerie of colorful pills looked back at him - mocking him.

He had hidden them back before he even knew what the Happy Hotel was. It was a stash he had been gathering while Valentino wasn’t looking. Whenever someone was passing something around the studios, he would grab one and pretend to take it, only to stash it away for later. He was never sure why he was compelled to horde the pills, but he did anyway.

Maybe he was just that desperate for an escape, even if he would inevitably wake up regardless of what he took.

Droplets of water splashed onto the bag. Angel knew he shouldn’t, but his mind SCREAMED at him. It BEGGED him to take the pills. He was only so strong, especially against his own addictions.

Without a second thought he threw back half of the pills in a single go, not even bothering to take them with water. He had been swallowing drugs dry for decades.

The moment they hit his stomach, he regretted it.

“Oh fuck...” He whispered, falling to his knees. He brought his hands up to his bangs, his eyes beginning to sting. “Fuck... they’re gonna hate me...”

Suddenly his stomach flipped painfully. He rushed to the bathroom and threw the toilet open. Shoving his fingers down his throat, he couldn’t even gag. He wanted to get the pills OUT but he had lost his gag reflex before his death.

Angel sobbed, falling onto the fluffy bathroom rugs. He could already feel his head spinning in the way he had missed oh so much. His sobs began to shift into chuckles which leaked into full out laughter. He wrapped his arms around his thin waist as he laughed harder and harder. His eyes burned with tears as he laughed and laughed. He just couldn't stop laughing, even though he wanted to - fuck did he want to stop. His sides hurt so much that he cried harder from the pain. He had no idea how long he was laughing, but it was long enough for the pills to hit him fully.

He rolled himself over and crawled out of the bathroom, forcing himself to stand up with help from his bed. Once on his feet, he stumbled from his bedroom. He could hear voices coming from the parlor and found himself already going towards them. He seemed to black out every few steps, only to regain consciousness again several feet ahead of where he had just been.

Voices got louder, but he wasn’t sure where they were coming from. He fell to his knees, but he didn’t know if he was laughing or crying.

“Angel?”

There were hands on his cheeks, on his back, on his arms. Were the hands hot or was he hot? He was sweating. Why was he shaking so hard?

“What did you take?”

Angel curled into a pair of arms. He wasn’t sure exactly whose arms they were, but they were comforting and warm and smelled like home. He wanted to hide away, or black out again, but it seemed he was going to suffer through this in its entirety.

“Go to his room,” The person who was holding him said, their words making Angel’s chest vibrate. It gave him something to focus on other than the world crashing violently down around him. “Find what he took.”

“Talk...” He coughed, his claws digging into the person’s shirt. “Please.”

“You want me to talk? Of course, mon ange,” The person said, holding Angel closer. “You’ll be alright. We have you now dear. We’re going to take care of you, alright?”

“I’m fuckin’ sorry,” He sobbed into their chest. “I didn’t mean ta-”

“Shh, it’s alright,” Alastor tried to calm Angel. “You’re alright.”

It had been a normal night. He had been lightly teasing Husk at the bar as the others loitered here and there. Some patrons were relaxing in the parlor while others were in the gardens enjoying the bloody sunset. Alastor, despite how calm the evening was, had a bad feeling brewing in his stomach.

The calm air was shattered as Angel came stumbling into the parlor. Alastor was instantly by his side, just barely catching the spider as he crashed to the ground.

Angel was boiling hot but was shaking violently, his eyes glazed over. Alastor could instantly tell he wasn’t aware of where he was at all.

“Angel?” Charlie called over. They surrounded Angel and Alastor, Charlie managing to keep most of them out of their personal space. Alastor felt claustrophobic as the crowd pushed in on them. He held Angel closer, as if to protect him.

“He’s on something bad,” Husk sounded pained. “He’s overdosing.”

“What did you take?” Alastor asked urgently. How had no one anticipated this? Angel was working through major addictions and no one bothered to check in on him after he started acting better. “Angel? Can you hear me?”

Angel just buried his face into Alastor’s jacket, sobbing and laughing simultaneously. He motioned to his shadow, who appeared out the darkness at his feet. Some of the patrons that were newer gasped, not having known he could control his shadows in such a way.

“Go to his room,” He ordered. “Find what he took.”

His shadow nodded and shot away, moving though the puddles of darkness. He looked back down at Angel, who was curling in on himself more.

“Talk...” Angel’s voice was barely audible. “Please...”

“You want me to talk? Of course...” Alastor did what he could. He talked, holding the spider closer. He felt powerless as Angel shook in his arms, barely responding to what was going on around him.

His shadow came back, holding a plastic baggie in its hands. Husk took it and instantly scowled, holding it out to Charlie.

“What are all of these?” She asked.

“Too many to fuckin’ name,” Husk growled. “He’s been collecting them.”

“But why?” Charlie sounded close to tears.

“An escape, probably...”

“I’m taking him to my room,” Alastor said abruptly, adjusting Angel and standing. The spider was unconscious, his body still twitching even in his sleep. “Niffty. Husk. Meet me there.”

Without another word, Alastor turned to his shadow. It stretched itself from the shape of its owner into a large hole of darkness. Alastor stepped through it and disappeared from the parlor, leaving the chaos behind.

He stepped out of the portal into his room. He easily carried Angel to the bed and placed him down on top of the covers. He thought to himself that Angel was far too light, even for his body type.

“We’re here.” Husk pushed the door open, letting himself and Niffty in. Niffty had a tray in her hands piled high with anything they might need. Her unexpected strength came into play as she easily hopped up onto the desk chair and placed the tray down as if it were empty.

“Oh dear...” Her face crumpled as she took in the sight of Angel twitching in his sleep.

“Motherfucker...” Husk hissed, his ears pressing down against his head. His tail flicked violently behind him. “I told him to find me.”

“Niffty, darling, could you fetch me a bowl of warm water and a rag?” Alastor asked, doing his best to keep his tone steady. There was blood matting Angel’s fur, but much to their relief it seemed that the wounds were no longer openly bleeding, which was a good sign. If he was already healing, then his body would be able to filter the drugs out of his system and Angel would be awake within a few hours.

“Fuckin’ hell kid, why did you do this?” Husk asked, knowing he wouldn’t get a response from the spider. He took Angel’s hand and his face twisted even more.

“What is it?”

“He tried to make himself throw up but I’m guessing it didn’t work.”

“How can you tell?” Alastor glanced over Husk’s shoulder.

“His hand,” the cat gently spread Angel’s fingers to show gashes on his knuckles.

“His fangs cut him, and if he’s this fucked up I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume he wasn’t able to get them out in time. Not all that surprised though - he always bragged about his lack of a gag reflex.”

“How did none of us notice he was getting this bad?” Alastor asked, his feedback completely silent, leaving his voice as bare as the day he died.

“That’s the thing about relapsing,” Husk sounded tired. “He probably didn’t see it coming either. This shit sneaks up on you, and before you realize what’s happening you’ve already done whatever it is you’re trying to kick.”

“Here boss! Not too hot.” Niffty reappeared with the required bowl of water and rag. He took it with a small nod.

“You don’t have to stay,” He said as he dipped the rag into the water and began dissolving the drying blood out of Angel’s fur. “I know you have other things to attend to. I can handle this.”

“If you’re sure...” Niffty trailed off, waiting for the confirmation nod from Alastor before rushing from the room once again.

“You’re free to go as well Husker.”

“I don’t have any plans,” he sat on the other side of the bed. He pulled a handkerchief out of thin air and began dabbing Angel’s forehead. “Besides... I made a promise.”

“What sort of promise?”

“That he wouldn’t have to go through something like this alone.” Husk fell silent.

Alastor allowed himself a moment to take a deep breath before continuing his task. After a few silent minutes, Angel’s fur was just faintly pink and the water was red. Alastor stood and went to the adjoined bathroom to dump the water down the drain. He found himself almost hypnotized by the way the stained water swirled around and around.

He jerked back to reality when Husk placed a hand on his shoulder.

“He’s gonna be out for a while,” He said softly. “Take a hot shower and a nap. I’ll make sure someone sends something up to eat later.”

“Thank you Husker,” Alastor cleared his throat. “I truly appreciate your assistance.”

“You know, you don’t have to be scared to ask for help. You know me and Niffts would do anything for you, and I’m pretty sure the Princess and Sleeping Beauty over there would do whatever they could too.”

“I’ll.. make sure to keep that in mind.” He offered Husk a small smile. The cat nodded to him and left the room, leaving Alastor alone with Angel. Alastor looked over at his bed, where Angel had finally settled down properly, his breathing evened out and his face relaxed as if he were simply sleeping.

Alastor knew it was going to be a long next couple of hours.

Angel woke up feeling groggy. His stomach was turning, as if he was hungover, but he didn’t remember drinking at all the night before. In fact, he knew he hadn’t because Charlie was getting stricter with the amount of alcohol the patrons consume and he had finished his stash of hard liquor months ago. His mouth was dry and his head was pounding, which didn’t help his initial assumption that this was just an awful hangover.

He sat up and held his head in his upper set of hands, trying to make the room stop spinning for just a second so he could figure out where he was-

Because this was DEFINITELY not his room.

“What happened?” His voice sounded raspier than usual, as if he had smoked an entire pack of cigarettes in an hour again. His mouth didn’t taste like smoke, so that wasn’t what happened either. Looking down, he saw he was wearing a red cardigan that he had never seen before. It only had one set of arm holes, and seemed a little shorter than he normally wore them, but it was soft and warm and smelled nice.

His heart stopped. He remembered what he did... The grey cardigan. The pills. Trying to throw them up - that explained why his throat hurt.

But what happened after that? After falling on the bathroom rug, Angel’s memory went black.

Where was he? What did he do? Who did he go home with? His lower half didn’t hurt, which was strange. He always woke up from a drug bender with his hips being in the most pain out of everything that ached.

“You’re awake.”

“Fuck-” Angel jumped at the sudden voice, his head throbbing painfully as the jarring movement. Looking up, he squinted at the figure standing in the doorway.

“You might want these.” Alastor moved to stand next to the bed, handing Angel a cup of water and some painkillers Angel stared at him for a moment, gathering his wits, before taking the offerings with shaking hands. It took longer than usual to take the painkillers, but he instantly felt better after downing the water. He didn’t realize how thirsty he was until his cup was empty and he still wanted more.

“Did I do anything bad?”

“Other than overdosing?” Alastor’s voice was sharp and Angel flinched. He closed his eyes, waiting for a blow - but none came. “Mon ange, look at me?”

Angel did as he was asked, looking up at Alastor. The Radio Demon wasn’t wearing his usual smile - in fact, he looked the most disheveled Angel had ever seen him. His eyebrows were upturned in what almost looked like concern, and his eyes looked almost unsettlingly large on his face now that there was now grin to take up most of the space.

Alastor reached out and gently ran a thumb under Angel’s eye, the touch so light that it was barely even making contact at all. Angel resisted the urge to lean into Alastor’s hand, no matter how badly he wanted physical comforts.

“We’re not angry, Angel,” Alastor said after a moment. Angel felt his breath catch in his throat, his eyes widening in shock. He hadn't even thought about how the others would think about what he had done, but as soon as Alastor mentioned it, it was all he could think of. His eyes began to sting. “I’m not angry.”

That was what broke Angel’s dam. He didn’t think three simple words could make his chest ache with relief, but he was finding out a lot about himself that morning. He sobbed and tried to cover his face, only to find Alastor dabbing his face like he had done several times before.

“I’m so s-sorry...” He mumbled into the handkerchief. Alastor’s ministrations paused for a moment before continuing just as carefully.

“You don’t need to apologize, dear,” He said. Angel realized he wasn’t using his usual radio voice. It made him sound more... human. A faint accent colored his words and calmed Angel’s nerves slightly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But I fucked up-”

“No, you stumbled,” Alastor cut him off. “You stumbled, but that doesn’t mean you failed, or that you’re a lost cause.”

“But-”

“And stumbling just proves you’re moving forward,” Alastor continued, all of his focus honed in on his hands smoothing down Angel’s fur. “You cannot stumble if you are standing still, which means you’re making progress no matter how slow it may seem to you.”

“Are ya sure they ain’t mad?”

“Positive,” Alastor leaned back and offered a small smile. “They’re mostly just concerned.”

“Fuck...” Angel propped his forehead on the palms of his hands.

“Do you wish to freshen up before we go downstairs?” Alastor asked, snapping his fingers and making the handkerchief disappear.

“Do I gotta?” Angel asked, fully aware of what Alastor was going to say.

“I’m afraid so, sha,” Alastor said apologetically. “Charlotte has been pacing the parlor since this morning.”

“I don’t wanna see ‘ow disappointed she is...

“You’ll never know unless you take that first step.”

“I don’t wanna...”

“I know dear, but you don’t have to do it alone.”

“Fuck... fine,” Angel sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Lemme shower real fast and I’ll meetcha back ‘ere.”

“I’ll be waiting.” Alastor smiled as Angel nodded and left the room. Without saying a word, Alastor sent his shadow to tail Angel. If something were to happen, he'd rather have an angry spider at his heels than an injured one.

Thankfully Angel came back twenty minutes later with no new injuries. Alastor knew the gashes on his arms had healed because they had already closed by the time they were wrapped in bandages, but just because he wasn’t physically hurt didn’t mean Angel wasn’t hurting.

“Shall we?” Alastor held an arm out for Angel, who hesitated. Angel glanced between the offered arm and Alastor’s face for a few moments, as if debating whether or not it was a trick of some sort. He must have decided that it was safe, because he gently locked his arm into Al’s and allowed the deer to lead them down the stairs.

Instantly, all the attention was on them. Charlie perked up and ran to the foot of the stairs, her face bright with relief. Husk watched carefully, his wings trembling as if preparing to take off to catch Angel if he were to fall. Vaggie remained where she and Charlie had ben standing, her arms wrapped around her waist with an apprehensive expression.

“Angel! I’m so glad you’re alright!” Charlie all but tackled Angel the second his feet hit the main floor. The only reason he didn’t fall on his ass was Alastor’s hand on his lower back, keeping his steady as Charlie hugged him tightly. “How are you feeling?”

“Just a lil’ tired,” He said quietly. Charlie’s face fell at how small the spider sounded. “It’s aight, Smiles took good care a me.”

“What... what happened last night?” It seemed to pain Charlie to ask, but Angel had spent his entire shower preparing himself for that exact question.

“Dunno... felt like th’ world was chokin’ me and I panicked... I knew that drugs made th’ suffocatin’ feelin’ go away before and I just- just needed ta make it stop... ‘m sorry Charlie.”

“Please don’t apologize,” Charlie stood on her tiptoes and cupped Angel’s cheek.

“You aren’t in trouble. We just want to help you with this - help you feel better and give you a place to go if you feel like you’re losing control.”

“I ‘ppreciate it Toots,” He offered a small smile. “I really do... I just- I don’t really know ‘ow ta open up ta people. You of all people should know that.”

“You’ve been making such amazing progress though!” She exclaimed, pure determination shining in her eyes. It made Angel’s chest warm to know she believed in him so much. “Angel?”

“Mm?”

“I’m so proud of you.”

“Wh-what?” Angel whispered, his lungs suddenly not working. Alastor must have seen the sudden tension in his shoulders, for he was by Angel’s side in an instant, a gloved hand resting on the spider’s arm to ground him.

“I am! You’ve been clean for so long, and Husk told me you tried to throw the pills up once you took them AND you came to find us because you trusted us to help you. That’s such an amazing step to take! It means you’re pushing through your addictions!”

“But- but I fucked up,” Angel felt his eyes sting. “Afta everythin’ you guys’ve done for me, I still fucked up and tried ta get drugged up...”

“That’s all part of healing,” She said, her voice so painfully genuine that it made his chest ache. “We all make mistakes, but it doesn’t mean we are mistakes. Just because we trip a little doesn’t mean we’ve failed. The fact that you feel regretful just proves that you aren’t the same Angel you were when you came to the hotel, and that’s so amazing!”

“Yeah?” He sniffed, wiping his suspiciously damp cheeks.

“Yeah,” Charlie grabbed his hands and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Now, you’re probably not hungry right now, but I figured we could make some tea and talk for a bit! It really does help to get the stuff weighing you down off your chest.”

“I guess I can try...” Angel did NOT want to talk about what happened the evening before, but considering how badly it could have gone, he decided having to have an extra session of therapy with the Princess was the least painful option.

“Yay! I’ll go make the tea!” She jumped and grinned before rushing off towards the kitchens.

“See, everything went fine.” Alastor pointed out with a smirk.

“Coulda gone worse I guess,” Angel shrugged. “Not really lookin’ forward ta this talk with Toots if I’m bein’ completely honest.”

“What if I made the deal a little... more enjoyable for you?” Alastor’s grin widened.

“That’s shady as fuck Smiles.” Angel scoffed, his eyes turning up a little with his smile.

“Hm, maybe!” Alastor let his laugh track play, his grin softening at Angel’s chuckles joined into the recording “How about this? You play nice with the Princess, and when you feel up to it I will take you shopping.”

“Shopping?” Angel blinked.

“Quite! I have no shortage of funds, and I believe you deserve a bit of a reward for all you’ve done for this hotel.” Alastor tried to keep his voice light, but there was a heavy truth to his words that weren’t lost on Angel.

“Ya twisted my arms,” He chuckled. “I’ll letcha know when I’m feelin’ betta.”

“Perfect! Now, I hate to leave but there are some things I must attend to before they get out of hand.” It was clear by his expression that Alastor genuinely was sorry for needing to go somewhere.

“Go do ya job Smiles,” Angel playfully pushed the shorter demon’s shoulder. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” In a blink, Alastor was gone, leaving nothing but a puddle of shadows in his place.

“Glad to see you up,” Husk came over. “You scared the shit outta us kid.”

“Ah...” Angel’s smile faded, the guilt beginning to gnaw at him again. “Sorry.”

“You should be,” His gruff words made Angel jump a little. Husk must have seen the sudden change in his expression because his own face softened. “Not cuz of what you did - that ain’t something you gotta apologize for. I’m mad that you didn’t come find me. I could have- have made sure you were safe. You promised me you’d come find me if you felt like you were gonna relapse.”

“I’m sorry,” He really, really meant it. “I wasn’t thinkin’ and by th’ time I realized I ‘ad fucked up, I barely even knew where I was.”

“I getcha. Shit like this sneaks up on ya,” Husk’s ears pressed down. “It’s hard to think straight when your body is betraying you.”

“Hard ta think straight at all.” Angel commented without a second thought. The two paused for a moment, letting it sink in, before bursting into laughter.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Husk shook his head as the laughs finally began to calm.

“Glad to see your sense of humor hasn’t changed much.”

“Don’t worry, your regularly scheduled bullshit will be back right afta these messages.”

“Angel?”

“Yeah?”

“If you ever feel alone, or like you can’t trust yourself, come find me,” Husk looked away, his eyes narrowing a little. “You don’t gotta explain shit to me about what’s going on, but I’ll be there to listen and keep you company.”

“Thanks Husky,” Angel’s throat tightened. “That... means a lot.”

“Mm, yeah,” He tried to sound nonchalant, but Angel could tell he really meant everything he was saying. “You should go find the Princess before she starts running around my parlor and spilling’ shit everywhere.”

“I’ll come by later,” Angel promised. “Drinks on me.”

“Drinks are free to hotel patrons,” Husk shook his head as Angel dramatically winked at him. “I’ll hold you to that. Don’t make me wait too long.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Angel grinned before going towards the kitchen. As he got closer, he could hear Charlie and Niffty chatting.

He knew the hotel was going to be a gamble. The moment the Princess’ limo pulled up at his street corner, Angel knew this was going to be a game with very little pay off. He knew this, and yet he went anyway. He let Charlie try to rehabilitate him regardless of all the red flags he saw. He knew it was going to suck, but he stuck with it.

He stuck with it, and now he had a home to return to. He had a bed that didn’t smell like cigarette or sex and a room that he was allowed to decorate any way he wanted. He could give his precious Fat Nuggets a safe place to live and all the food they could ever want. He had a family, as rag-tag as they were, and he found he was beginning to trust them more than he had trusted anyone in Hell - maybe even more than anyone in his life too.

The next few days were going to suck, because he knew everyone was going to be walking on eggshells around him, but that was fine because it meant they cared about him. He had his outing with Alastor to look forward to, and his drink with Husk.

Things were going to suck, but he had a bubbling feeling that soon things were going to start to look up too.

**Author's Note:**

> Look~ I said it was going to be a onshot and LOOK! A oneshot! This was a quick idea but I'm pretty happy with how it came out. I love writing the other characters interacting with Angel one on one because I can highlight their relationships better. I think the scene with Husk is my favorite out of the six. If I'm being honest, Husk through the entire fic is my favorite even though Angel is 100% my emotional support character :3
> 
> The antidepressants were based on my own experience with Zoloft, which stole almost five months of my life from me :3 
> 
> I literally had so many things I wanted to add here but now that I'm actually writing it I can't think of a single one of them XD
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading! I still have an idea for another oneshot, but I might end up using that plot as part of a longer fic. I just have to think of a longer fic to write :P


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